Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Best (Smart) Comment Ever (Final Post)

Yep. I'm done.

Why? Because I am sick and tired of reading the words of idiots. For every gem that I find for you, I have to sift through piles and piles of hateful, ignorant, racist, sexist, and homophobic remarks. And I really can't take it anymore. It's just plain not worth it. I need to quit for the sake of my own mental health.

However, I want to end this project on a good note. You know how Prop 8 was overturned yesterday? Sure you do! Well, an old friend of mine said something on Facebook that is so unbelievably smart and true, that I wanted to share it with you all.


Just think of all the people that could have been helped, the lives saved, the children fed, with all the time and money those religious zealots put into Prop 8 only to have it overturned and deemed UNCONSTITUTIONAL... Just think. They should be ashamed of themselves.

On that note, thank you for your interest in what I have to say. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

For those of you who are a fan of my 'character', Dr. Lulzington, I am happy to say that he and his site are poised to make a huge comeback in the very near future. Details to follow on http://drlulzington.wordpress.com/.



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Thursday, July 1, 2010

A Former American Idol Contestant Who Loves To Make Dumb Comments

Ah...American Idol fans. As someone who has spent the past few years following everything American Idol on a funny site called Vote For The Worst, I have seen a lot of stupidity involving fans of the show. Occasionally, there is stupidity regarding the contestants themselves.

One such contestant is Todrick Hall. As you'll find out by following this link (contains adult language), Toddy has made a lot of enemies in his short, fledgling career. Go ahead. Read it. I'll wait.

You should also Google his name within your browser. In Firefox, if you Google something, suggestions should pop up as you begin typing. Type in this guy's name and the top suggestion is "Todrick Hall Scam".

Don't believe me? Try it!

To be fair, the whole thing is a mess of he said, she said, but there really are a whole lot of people who really, really don't like him. Still, when he asked to come on the Vote For The Worst Radio Show to tell his side of the story, we said OK, and let him ramble in circles for a good, long while.

To be honest, I had let the whole issue go (if you have seen this mind-numbingly boring season of American Idol, then you understand why I ceased to care). Karma is a bitch, and if Toddy is guilty, she'll bite him in the behind at some point. No sense in me doing the same.

That is, until yesterday.

You see, Toddy has this annoying habit of spamming celebrities with his YouTube videos. He's a good singer - I'll give him that because I am fair. However, spamming celebrities on Twitter is just simply not cool. Normally, I sit back and ignore it, but when I see someone spam Kathy Griffin, my favorite comedienne, not one, not two, but EIGHT times in rapid succession with the exact same post, I decided to take things into my own hands.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I CAN HAZ MOAR CAPS LOCK NAO?

Yes, you can!

Here are some random CAPS LOCK statements. Does the context matter? Of course not. CAPS LOCK is CAPS LOCK, no matter what!

DAM THIS CHICK IS MAD UGLY SHE HAS A DOUBLE CHIN WHAT WAS LEVI THINKING BET HE WISHES HE WORE A CONDON NOW.I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW ARE THEY GOING TO REDUCE LEVI'S 8K A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT(BULLSHIZ) NOW THAT SHE'S GONNA BE MAKING WAY MORE THAN HIM

Condon? Condon = someone's name. Condom = birth control device. No wonder why there are so many unplanned pregnancies!

YOU ARE AN INBREAD SON OF -B THE OFFSPRING OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE INCEST OR RAPE YOU SIR SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED

Inbread? I love bread! What kind of bread are we talking about? Sourdough, I hope. That's my favorite.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! DO YOU ALL SEE HOW MUCH OF A F***ING DOPEHEAD THIS GUY IS
?!?!?!?!

I have no idea, because all I see is CAPS LOCK!

WOWWWWWW

Please keep posting. We need more of your rare intelligence.


WELCOME TO THE """NEW WORLD ORDER""";;;;A TOTALITARIAN POLICE STATE.

COMPLETE WITH PARANOIA;;;THOSE COPS MUST HAVE BEEN LIBERALS

Who's paranoid now? BTW, I found your tin foil hat...and your cat's!




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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Jerry Seinfeld - Lady Gaga Incident Causes So Much Comment Fail

I must admit: I am something of a Little Monster. "Little Monster" is what a Lady Gaga fan is called, and I think it's cute. Anyway, this probably isn't the right place for me to go on and on about how awesome I think she is, but the whole Little Monster thing is the only reason why I've paid any attention to the fact that Jerry Seinfeld was upset over execs at Citi Field letting Gaga use his VIP box after showing up at a Yankee game scantily clad, drunk, and boisterous.

Being drunk and disorderly at a ball game? That NEVER happens! [/sarcasm]

Anyhow, Seinfeld said what he said, seemingly half-jokingly. It was a bad call on Citi Field's part to send Gaga to a VIP box that Jerry Seinfeld paid for, and I don't blame Jerry for being upset (despite the somewhat misdirected anger).

Honestly, after reading what it was all about, I couldn't care less. I doubt either party has lost any sleep over this. What I do care about are the wonderfully stupid opinions that sprung up as a result. Look at mocus1's deep, thoughtful insight:

You see folks, she's a radical leftist and supports gay rights, so in the media's eyes, she can do no wrong. The virulent idiots in the homosexual and moronic media worship fools like this tuna tool, and all her stupid antics. They love idiots, as long as their LEFT WING idiots. They have no time for any other kind of idiot, however.

Radical leftist? Why, because she supports animal rights? I don't exactly think wearing a Muppet fur outfit is making some major partisan statement (genius, yes, but not partisan). 

Yes, she does support gay rights, and judging by the fact that mocus1 referred to a woman as a 'tuna tool', makes me think that he will too, once his closet door has been pried open. Seriously, I thought that only 80 year old gay men referred to females as 'tuna'.

This statement by thejigisup makes loads of sense, and by 'makes loads of sense', I mean 'reads as heavily drug-influenced:

FOR MS. GAG BLAH.

A GOLD RING IN THE SNOUT OF A PIG, IS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
WITHOUT DISCRETION. PROVERBS.
GO FIGURE .

There is very little that I can 'figure' from this, except that crack is wack.

Speaking of crack being wack, one reader "Bob Benedict Ra" was upset(?) over another reader calling her a Satanist...I think...


Did you say this ????...atrainchris
06/22/2010 4:20 PM
She is classless disgusting satanist! OMG .. If you only knew how true is your description ..of at least 2 former First Ladies ,( AND THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH LAURA BUSH OR HILLARY CLINTON )
BUT GAGA ..Hmmmm sweet 23 yr old kid ..love to have her as a client ..It was a Hot Day ..too much beer ..a lapse in any sense of commonality ..AND you have the un-rentlenting genius we call Gaga ..
We need to endulge her in extreme sympathy :
-she believes in reincarnation
-she is a visual performer which is subconsciously bringing back ..musicals
-she has little common sense ,and has mentioned her vision of some impersonating paparazzi ..gunning her down .

So ,you see all this show of "I'M EVERY MAN" FREE TO GO WHERE I WANT ..EVEN UNESCORTED IS JUST A PROCESS OF ACCLAIMATION ..this could allow her to overcome her fobias.
When you talk to her she is nothing like the show she puts on ...quite a conversationalist ..very high IQ ...hasn't met her prince charming yet ...solid Gold Heart
.......though enough to get most upset ...so their ...your right ..Jerry ..and a good target for some comedy ..I don't thing she will mind...

If someone could tell me WTF Bob is even talking about, please let me know, in non-crack language.

With that, I leave you with my favorite Lady Gaga photo. Oh, and thanks for your patience! I've been traveling and unable to get as much time to blog.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

If You Are Being Bullied, Please Read This (Sporadic Smart Comment, Jun 21, 2010)

OK, time to reward smarts today.

This comment warmed my heart after reading a very sad article about a boy who tried to kill himself because of some relentless bullies at his school. He's now severely brain damaged and confined to a wheelchair. :(

Anyway, many of us, possibly even a majority of us (myself included) have survived being bullied in school at some point. So has "Pete of CC", who wrote something so inspirational that I decided that today should be a smart comment day. Here goes. If you are being bullied or have ever been bullied in the past, please take a moment to read this.

To all those who are being bullied - hang in there! Ignore the bullies as best as you can (they hate it when you don't react to them), stay out of their way and just quietly go about looking after yourself and achieving things for yourself. Be patient and understand that one day, high school will finish and you won't have to put up with those morons. Know that those same morons will never achieve and will never rise to high standards - their own behaviour as teenagers is a reflection of their parents way of bringing them up. I have been there - in high school I was bullied because I was different (deaf) but I simply ignored them, stayed out of their way, picked my friends VERY carefully and focussed on my education. If the bullying is bad enough, REPORT them - to the school, to the police to your family. Just remember, at the end of the day, if you stay strong and true to yourself and ignore them, you will come out of it a far better person than they ever will be.

Hang in there, kids. Nothing or nobody is worth harming yourself or anyone else over. To paraphrase Jake Gyllenhaal in Donnie Darko, "I promise that things are going to get so much better for you." (It's said in a similar context in the movie, too).

As for the bullies...they'll grow up to be mocked on this site, People Of WalMart, and FailBlog, most likely.

I'll be back tomorrow to get back to the stupid.
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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Drunk Posting Will Make You Look Like An Idiot

Meet April. April likes to say silly things on the Internet sometimes. At first, I thought she was a troll, but no, she is someone who posts sort of normal things most of the time, and then, out of nowhere, will have this reaction to international ("alleged") murderer Joran Van Der Sloot:

he wouldn't have to use date rape drugs on me! he's hot! oh, I know, a couple of his dates ended up badly. Haven't you ever been on a bad date? i think if you just do what he wants you to do, you'll find yourself having a good time. Call me, Joran! I want to have little van der Sloots! I want to be your van der @#$%! Call me!



Yeaaaahhhh.....uhhhhh.....honey? I think Joran's going to be a bit occupied for the next infinity years or so. Check it out, though..."Bob Smith" is interested:

Hey you @#$% you like it rough drop me an e-mail I will take it from you hard!
[deleted] and @#$% you like the @#$% you are

You have no idea how tempted I was to leave his email address in. But no, I must take the high road and keep everyone semi-anonymous. What's my damage, anyway? ;-) Whatever, April's still (drunk?) posting:

he's hot! i want to be a van Der S luut! So what, two stupid girls are dead--it's not like they were guys. Everyone know that us girls are just there to pleasure our men folk. And that is the way it should be. Acts 29:30-31:

Women, thou arest commanded to give up dominion to thy partners and to not hold sway over their affairs.

For is it not written in the halls of the Kings that in ancient times the prophet will set forth his precedent for who believe in him?

Danny saw this, and he likes:

april you are a doll, want to be friends, hit me up and let me know at [deleted]

I deleted the email address, but I will share that the address contains the word 'nutz'. Just like it would have in Biblical times.

Danny may like, but Mary does not:

YOU ARE A STUPID F*** LIKE THEY SAY ABOUT OPINIONS AND EVERYBODY HAS ONE, WELL YOU A REAL BIG A** HOLE. DUMB STUPID B****!!!!!! WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR SISTER OR MOTHER OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU, ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE A STUPID F***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, Mary, how do you feel? You're not being expressive enough...oh, wait...you're using ALL CAPS LOCK to show that YOU! MEAN! BUSINESS!

Moral of the story is: don't shout out to criminals, or creepy internet guys will hit on you (and women will scream bloody murder at you). Or, you may wind up on this site.

On another note, Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. :)


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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Nothing Attracts The Dumb Comments Like Sarah Palin News

Like flies to honey. You betcha!

This article is no big deal. Sarah Palin is speaking at a college in California. There was a controversy over how much it cost to have her speak there, plus the university understandably was originally reluctant to let the media cover the event, further embarrassing the school by being associated with her special brand of nitwittedness.

It's a big deal to me, however, because this sort of story attracts the wingiest of the wingnuts. Okay, so wingiest isn't a word, but it should be. We could use it to describe this fellow, who has the following to say about people who don't agree with Sarah Palin's [sarcasm]brilliant[/sarcasm] rhetoric: